Bettye Ronk

Condolences(4)

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   Michael Sandefur says

   January 19, 2019 at 10:00 pm

   Bettye’s Life
   Our family diminished this week with the passing of my sister Bettye. Bettye was 75 and had lived with us, as a quadriplegic, for the past 12-years. Few lives have been more beautiful or more tragic. This is her story. Bettye married her husband and moved to California and gave birth to their only daughter Stacey. Dave worked for the surfing legend of Greg Knoll and the family later moved to Hawaii to develop a surfboard outlet. Time passed and Dave and Betty started their own surfboard shop and enjoyed the island life. As the surfboard industry transitioned to “homemade” boards Dave transitioned to the Hawaii Police force where at the age of 40 he became the valedictorian of his graduating class. Then tragedy visited one night when a driver passed 6-cars on a curve and had a head on collision with Stacey then 21 and two of her friends. All three women were killed. The two other girlfriends left behind young babies.

   18-months later Dave while serving a restraining order was shot and killed in the line of duty. The news the day of the funeral reported a double tragedy for the Ronk family, as the man that killed Stacey was convicted that very day for manslaughter. Bettye lost it for a while. There were periods up to year in which we did not hear from her or even know where she was. When she did call, she would never tell us where she was or what she was doing.

   Bettye resurfaced in the 90’s and came home to Ky. some to help care for my dad and visit. Then in the later 90’s she met Tim and they set up house in Colorado Springs and from a while life was good again. Bettye liked to help people and had friend Darlene who had went through a divorce was in deep depression. Darlene had lived with Bettye in Hawaii for some time then met a guy got married, found a good job and had a couple of children. Then in the late 90’s Darlene when through a 2nd divorce and lost her job. Bettye invited her to come stay with her and Tim in Colorado Springs; Bettye considered Darlene her best friend. Darlene was never stable, and my sister is not an easy person to live with and during an argument Darlene, Bettye’s best friend, shot her in the neck.

   Darlene was convicted and when on to serve a 9-year term. Bettye served a life-term as a paraplegic and they quadriplegic. Bettye did not share the news of the shooting with me and Aprile until six months later and told me to not tell anyone else, including her mother. Thankfully, Tim her significant other stayed with Bettye and they setup home in Palm Springs with Bettye as a functional paraplegic.

   Under the difficult circumstances, Bettye and Tim were good again for a while, until Bettye had a complication of the injury resulting in a 107-degree temperature. Brain damaged resulted and Bettye was a quadriplegic. Tim called with the bad news and we offered to come out right then and help. He declined and said she was in the hospital now, but he would really need our help when she came home. One-week later Tim died of a fatal heart attack while mowing the yard.

   We got the news at 9PM and the next day at noon were in Palm Springs. Aprile and I spent the next two months getting Bettye well enough to move her back with us. My wife Aprile, an angel, did not hesitate to bring her in our home. We built an addition on our house and she lived with us for the next 12-years; it was a challenge; mentally, physically and spiritually. My sister was perhaps the most independent person I know and then she became the most dependent person knew. She resented this and we were often the only outlet for her resentment. We were never really able to make her happy, but we were able to make he as comfortable as possible. This is not say Bettye did not smile again, she did but having lost everyone, and everything at the hand of her best friend weighted heavily at times. We had host of help Carlene her friend (when her health allowed) would go out to the movies and dinner. Cousins Brenda and Donnie would stop and visit. Her friend Ruth in Hawaii sent her an email letter every week for 12-years. There were a host of sitters, Sheila, Dee, Emily, Jill, Janea, Lindsey, Brittany Hannah, Lauren, Renee… over the years that helped out and became close friends with her and us. Bettye in 12-years never had a cold or sniffle as a result of the exceptional care and training Aprile administered and trained the sitter on. I cannot begin to tell you how much Aprile sacrificed for my sister and I will never come close to being able to express my gratitude. Bettye’s doctor told Aprile that if she had been in charge of Christopher Reeves care he would still be alive.

   Bettye’s broken body final gave way and passed this week, however before she passed, she accepted Christ. She clutched a tiny bible for the last 9-hours of her life. Her last request was to have her cremated remains to rest at graves of her daughter and husband in Hawaii.

   So, with this letter ends the chapter of Bettye Ann Ronk and beginning of a new chapter in our lives.

   For those who read this to the end, thank you. For those who knew of Bettye and provide comfort and prayers, thank you. God did not answer all the prays but did answer the ones that matters.

   Mike Sandefur

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   Schmia Parm says

   February 6, 2019 at 3:03 pm

   I am so sorry to hear this i took care of Bettye for many years at Redbanks may she be at peace and i give all the family my deepest sympathy

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   Ruth and Glen Powell says

   October 13, 2019 at 2:12 am

   We will all miss Bettye. She was a good friend and a long time neighbor in Hawaii. Aloha oe, Bettye. We love you.

   Ruth and Glen Powell
   Haleiwa, HI

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   Rebecca says

   October 13, 2019 at 2:19 am

   I was friends with Bettye’s daughter Stacey. We grew up together. I was very sad to lose Stacey. I don’t know how Bettye survived the agony of that loss and then later losing Dave. I have always admired Bettye’s strength and resilience. She remained a close and caring friend to me and to my family. We miss you, Bettye. Rest in Peace.
   Rebecca Powell
   Haleiwa, HI